Robyn Alsip Arce
I Can Only Imagine
Sometimes I like to imagine what my husband Julian might be experiencing in Heaven. I know there is no way I can ever truly comprehend it, even in all of my wild imagining.
But... I like to imagine.
I think of the most beautiful sunset I have ever experienced. I think of the most beautiful starry night sky. I remember how it felt; the feelings of awe and gratefulness. Awe in the artistry and creativity of their creator and gratefulness that He gave me all I needed to experience their beauty. And as wonderful as they were, I know their splendor doesn’t even compare to what my husband is experiencing right now.
I think of the most beautiful places with the most beautiful scenery... oceans, mountains, amazing blue skies, vivid colors, plants, and flowers… with the breeze gently gliding across my face, the soothing sounds of nature, and the warmth of the sun on my skin… and I know it doesn’t even compare.
I think of the most happy and contented times I've ever had. I think of the times when I felt so loved, wrapped in love with my family surrounding me, with a sense of peace and calm that only comes from Jesus. Again, I rest assured it is nothing close to the love that Julian is wrapped in right this very moment.
I remember the feelings of homesickness when away from home as a child, and I know all of my husband’s homesickness is forever settled. I know that he is where his heart was designed to be from the very beginning… where his heart longed to be every moment he was on this planet. I know he is in the very presence of Jesus.
I think of the times I have been most intimate with Christ. Some of them in my living room reading the Word and talking to my Lord, some of them in corporate worship with my hands and my heart raised to Heaven. Describing them is impossible. It is impossible to describe what that intimacy does in your heart. And I know the intimacy and worship I can experience here in my physical body pales in comparison to what Julian is experiencing at home in the spiritual realm.
I know that I will see Julian again when my earthly work is finished. Although we will not be married as we were here on earth, I know that our relationship in Heaven will far exceed the satisfaction of any earthly relationship I can imagine. There will be no more sin, no selfishness left in either of us to get in the way of perfect fellowship.
In all the imagining... I rejoice. I rejoice that my husband has finished his race and is reaping his reward in Christ. In rejoicing, I find freedom. I find freedom to be content in my memories, freedom to celebrate my husband’s life and the love we shared. I find freedom to live my best life without regret, freedom to live the abundant life Christ offers.
For all of this, I am profoundly grateful.
1 Corinthians 2:9
"However, as it is written:
'What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived'— the things God has prepared for those who love him"
I know this can be upsetting for those whose loved ones did not know Jesus. However, we know that God is a God of second, third, fourth, and fifth chances. And we do not know what God did in your loved one’s heart in those last days, hours, minutes they spent on this earth. Seeds that were planted may have sprouted in those final moments. There is always hope. Please take it to the Lord and ask Him to calm your worry, to quiet your fear, and to give you rest in Him and His faithfulness.
— Robyn Alsip Arce, © 2021
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